The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
