I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
