if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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