Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
