grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
