i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
