Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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