You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
