booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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