Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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