explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
