Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
