as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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