Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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