I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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