You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
