Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
