i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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