Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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