Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
