remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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