Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
