SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
