i think my mom watched the whole time
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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