Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
