I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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