people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
