Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
