Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
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