His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
