i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
