I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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