You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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