Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
