For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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