I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
