Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Plan B is the new Plan A
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
