I molested 6 butterflies tonight
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
