apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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