she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
