Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
