God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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