where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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