yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
