i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
