You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
