I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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