well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
