One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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