God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
